A Moral Dilemma

A MORAL DILEMMA

First, let me set the stage for you:

I have gophers in my backyard. I have given them names even though I hate them.

Dede is cleaning out the garage and it is my belief that she is throwing away

some of my most treasured Cat Toys.

To distract me, she has insisted that I watch Cat TV. (To watch Cat TV means to stare out a window instead of at the Real TV where I watch Toddlers and Tiaras, Little Miss Perfect and Repo Man. For some reason known only to herself, Dede believes that I don't know the difference. I don't know what to do with her when she is set in some weird belief or other. But I digress.)

To soothe her, I DID sit and stare at Cat TV and what I saw was amazing!

I saw Mitt digging at one of the gopher mounds. He dug and dug for over an hour.

When the mound was level, he stuck his paw down in the hole and quickly drew it back!

Fred, the gopher, must have bitten him because he ran away.

(Of course, it could have been Alexis, Fred's Lover. I don't really know.)

Anyway, I would love to get rid of the gophers. They are ruining my lawn.

So. I spoke to the man who owns my house and we decided that he would come

and put poison in the holes.

Big Problem.

It is poisonous to Cats!

I told him to go ahead and get Fred and Alexis and the rest!

I can stay out of the backyard since I am what is termed "a House Cat".

Then I had a Horrible Thought!

What if Spike should ingest some of the pellets?

I would feel awful.

I would even feel awful if it dispatched Mitt.

(Oh, we've had our differences and I wish he'd stay in his own yard and I don't like his

Politics one bit. I think he's a Fascist. I'm not sure what that is but I heard it on Real TV

and it sounded mean, so I thought I'd use it. But I digress.)

I can't have the blood of my fellow Cats on my Paws.

(I wouldn't mind killing Basement Cat, if he really exists, a fact that I am now not so sure of.

However, if he DOES exist, I want him Dead. But I digress.)

What to do? Why am I faced with such difficult decisions?

I will let you know who survives and who goes with Basement Cat to the Basement.

Meanwhile, Love from Me. Mab.